Sunday, March 7, 2010

Control

.......letting go of trying to control life, events, circumstances, people, my boys, my husband, my image, .......

This morning I listened to this on the treadmill:

Let It Go by Tenth Avenue North


I've been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles
They've gone white
I'm fighting for who I wanna be
I'm just trying to find security

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go.

Well it's hard enough to hear
Harder still, to move beyond this fear
We know there's nothing I can bring,
So tell me what do you want from me?

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go

What do I love?
What do I hate?
What will I lose?
What will I gain?
How do I save my soul?
What if I bend?
What if I break?
What will it cost?
What will it take?
For you to save my soul.

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go


Oh how He wants me to let go and trust Him with.... with.... everything. And I fight it. I fight to make everything work how I think it should work, and fight to make things look the way they should look, and think somehow that is how I feel safe and secure.

Nope. It is the opposite.

Gotta let it go.

Trust.

Faith.

Then comes the peace.

The joy.

The safety.

The security.

All from Him. Just like He promised to do all along. Just like I knew He could.

He can handle it.

He did pretty well with the moon and the stars. The sky and the sea. The fish and the birds. The Man on the cross. I can trust Him.

But will I let go?

3 comments:

Anne said...

Beth,

Good luck with letting go, knowing it is right and trusting it is right, doesn't mean it is easy.

One day at a time is the only way to do it. I do ok, letting go of today... it is the tomorrows that start to get the best of me.

Ry said...

Wow, yeah. That is by far my biggest struggle. I want to control everything that is "mine."
I long to come to the full understanding that all I have is His and He gave it to me and He can take it away and it's okay.
I'll echo you and ask myself, "Do I really trust Him?"

Kim@runningtolosewithfaith said...

Wow, good stuff, I am struggling with all that right now too!