Saturday, August 8, 2009

I mean, really.....

... we just can't do it. We cannot fully declare all that He is, all that He does. But he tells us to try!
Declaring is hard for me.
I shrink.
Sometimes, I shrink bad.
I shrink when I am nervous,
I shrink when I am fearful.
He says "I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of love and of power and of sound mind" ....yep, stumbled on that one last Sunday during the missionary's message.
Then why am I so afraid?
I let my fear of rejection, of not being "liked", overpower my spirit of love, power and sound mind.
I really WANT to trust, I want to declare.
I know He gives the power, I know He wants me to stop trying to "muster" up the courage.... I just struggle getting from A to B.
And then comes the guilt... fresh from Satan himself...
"Beth, you did it again...Beth you should have said more, Beth where is this courage you are SO sure God can give?"
Doubts, fears..... I WANT to overcome them. (And tell Satan to sit on a tack.)
I want to change.
Okay, .......the times in my that I have "gotten it right" have been the times that I just prayed, "God give me the opportunity, AND the words."
And He does. Often it happens so quickly I don't have TIME to get scared. HE works it out. He does it.
I just want to be the vessel. A vessel that declares.
Today, tonight, I pray,
"God give me the opportunity, AND the words. Make me a light to someone today."
A BRIGHT stinkin' light! I might be judged, I might be shunned, I might be mocked, I might lose friends.... but I live to see my Savior one day and hear God laugh. at Sarah.



Lindsay said...

Gorgeous photo! Just gorgeous!

God is doing a mighty work In and Through YOU!! :)

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

Love this post Beth. God is so using you :)